By Margaret K-Jerczyńska – Transformational Life Coach | Hypnotherapist | Reiki Master
You Reflect, They Project: Know the Difference
As a Transformational Life Coach, Hypnotherapist, and Reiki Master, I have the privilege of working with courageous individuals who are doing the deep inner work. They self-reflect, take ownership of their choices, and seek to grow emotionally and spiritually.
If this sounds like you, I want to share something essential—something that could protect your peace and strengthen your clarity:
Not everyone reflects like you do. Most people don’t. They project.
This awareness is crucial. Without it, your self-reflection—a beautiful and powerful tool—can actually turn into a trap.
The Hidden Cost of Deep Self-Reflection
When you’re wired to look inward first, it’s easy to assume others are doing the same. You hear someone’s criticism, their judgment, or their emotionally charged response—and you begin to question yourself. “Did I say something wrong?” “What part of me caused this?” “Is it my fault again?”
But here’s the truth: many people are unwilling—or unable—to take a hard look at themselves. Instead, they hand you the mirror, hoping you’ll carry their emotional burden.
Worse still, some people consciously recognize your capacity for introspection and use it against you. They know you’ll overthink, over-own, and analyze every word, while they conveniently avoid accountability.
This isn’t just frustrating—it’s emotionally exhausting.
A Real-Life Glimpse
I once worked with a client—let’s call her Anna—who regularly walked away from conversations with a close friend feeling confused, ashamed, and “too sensitive.” Over time, she noticed a pattern: this friend never owned her mistakes, often dismissed Anna’s feelings, and somehow always managed to make Anna feel at fault.
Through hypnotherapy, we uncovered that Anna’s early childhood taught her to take responsibility for other people’s emotions to avoid conflict. Her self-reflection was a survival strategy. But as an adult, it became a source of pain—until she reclaimed her clarity and broke the pattern.
What to Watch For: Signs of Projection
Here are some red flags that the person you’re dealing with is projecting rather than reflecting:
- They blame you for how they feel, without taking any ownership.
- They criticize without listening or trying to understand.
- They use guilt or shame to manipulate your behavior.
- They often say things like, “You’re too sensitive,” or “You always overthink.”
- They rarely, if ever, apologize or admit fault.
When these signs appear, pause. Don’t rush to fix or change yourself. Instead, check in with what’s actually yours—and what isn’t.
Self-Awareness + External Discernment = Emotional Freedom
Self-awareness is sacred. But when it’s not paired with external awareness—the ability to recognize others’ emotional patterns—it can lead you into unnecessary confusion and self-doubt.
Ask yourself:
- Is this person truly taking responsibility for themselves?
- Are they trying to understand me—or are they trying to control or deflect?
- Do I walk away from them feeling clearer… or more clouded?
Reflective Journal Prompts
To help you ground this insight, here are a few prompts you can explore:
- Where in my life am I taking emotional responsibility that doesn’t belong to me?
- Which relationships leave me doubting myself the most—and why?
- What would it feel like to fully trust my own inner truth, even if someone else doesn’t agree with it?
Energy Cleanse Practice
When you feel energetically “off” after interacting with someone, try this simple grounding practice:
- Place your feet flat on the floor.
- Close your eyes and take three deep, conscious breaths.
- Visualize a golden light surrounding your body, gently cleansing your field.
- Silently affirm:
“I release what’s not mine. I return to my truth. I am clear, grounded, and sovereign.”
Affirmations to Anchor Your Power
- “I trust my inner truth.”
- “I do not carry what isn’t mine.”
- “I am no longer available for emotional manipulation.”
- “My self-awareness is sacred and protected.”
A Loving Reminder from Me to You
You don’t have to take on the emotional weight of others in order to be kind, spiritual, or “good.”
You are not responsible for someone else’s inability to reflect.
And you are allowed to create boundaries without guilt.
Your self-awareness is a gift. But so is your discernment. Together, they are your protection and your power.
If this message resonates with you and you’re ready to release patterns of self-doubt, emotional entanglement, or over-responsibility—I’m here to guide you.
I offer deeply transformational hypnotherapy sessions to help you reconnect with your truth, uncover the subconscious roots of your patterns, and fully embody the clarity and confidence you deserve.
With clarity and love,
Margaret K-Jerczyńska
Transformational Life Coach | Hypnotherapist | Reiki Master
#ItStartsWithYou
