The journey to my inner self

This story shows that each event took part in a perfect moment. When I was ready for entering the next stage of my life, some new people appeared and some situations happened, which led me to the place in which I was supposed to be in that particular moment when I was ready for a next level in my journey to my inner self.

I heard about yoga and meditation in January 2020. At that time, I had no idea what the purpose of such activities was, but these names sounded really nice since they were so mysterious and magical.

During this time I was completely overwhelmed with plenty of issues; therefore, I didn’t have time to look deeper into the whole theory. The time was flying by and then the pandemic started, which brought about many complications, both in my personal and work life. I did experience many ups and downs in order to revive my business ground, which was in tatters due to some limits imposed by the circumstances.

Depression took control over my life, so everything was senseless and meaningless. I stopped and I could not keep on moving for some time. I was totally disconnected from the reality until I realized that some changes are unavoidable and being stuck in one place won’t be helpful.

I tried to concentrate on my English knowledge and I used a plenty of methods, which were not necessarily effective, but I will tell you about them later. Being fluent in English was crucial for me although I did not know about it at that time. It came in handy during the next stage of my education which I have been dreaming about. I was not aware of the fact that everything was possible, regardless of a person’s age. I had a negative approach to life, which did not help to develop my skills; yet, at that time I did not know that.

Because of this time, I could come back to my thoughts regarding meditation. I decided to study this topic; therefore, I bought a live course as well as some recorded videos. Despite being inexperienced, I wanted to give myself a chance. Eventually, it was a good decision; however, meditation evoked some painful memories from my past.

During the process of exploring myself, I did find out that nothing happens without a reason and I was meant to learn something from my experiences. All the present and past events were supposed to show me something – some recurring situations and people, one mirror after another, and me – was always reacting in the same way. I was like an unconscious marionette influenced by the wind, following the same pattern of behaviour, which was encoded in my genes or learnt while being a child. So, I completely forgot about myself and my self-esteem. I remained in these patterns, in total unconsciousness.

Those things that I didn’t know about are actually the most important for me right now. I could not see myself in this because everything that I was doing was a preordained plan, which I was fulfilling every single day, without contemplation and willingness from my side. This experience was eye-opening for me and it made me see the things which were difficult to be observed previously. It was much easier to believe that nothing can be changed and everything is planned – it was all the part of my destiny, not my decision. And that was the point in which I was totally wrong.

Mediations with the energetic centers ( chakras) were an complete magical experience for me; nevertheless, I will let you know about it in the following article.

I came back to thinking about yoga in November 2021 when I was proceeding with studying English. I found a Youtube channel and it turned out that this content was very interesting. In this YouTube channel, the coach pays attention to our spiritual development, which was pretty new for me, so I got interested. The spiritual coach of this channel is a yoga teacher aswell.

My English became more advanced and thanks to that I could broaden my horizons. In such a way I could build up my own self-esteem and learn in order to change my career path. I was learning some coaching tools while transforming myself. However, the time devoted to studying was extremely fruitful. I could not believe that I did study everything in English.

The time was flying by and I was gradually giving up my previous career. I was following my inner voice, which was leading me to step by step. I trusted myself in order to achieve my dreams and finally, I found out that knowing my future would not be beneficial for me as I could be afraid of taking an action when being faced with some consequences. At that time, I wasn’t ready for that.

The trajectory path change that I made in 2021/2022 made me a person dealing with self-leadership and personal changes. This led to a better understanding of myself as well because I proved that I am powerful enough to create my own life. I have been using self-coaching since 2016, but I did not know all the rules and tools and that’s why I treated it as a means to achieve my own goals step by step. I didn’t check my possibilities, which could be helpful in working much more effectively on my goals. I am going to mention more about my gifts and personal development in the upcoming articles.

The thoughts connected with yoga were coming back to me all the time, but I still didn’t know what it was and I was sure that it was something much more. This thought was electrifying and engaging as it was coming back to me like a boomerang.

I do believe that my thoughts create my reality so it was not a surprise for me that during the meditation event in Warsaw (July 2022) I came across a book entitled „Psychology of yoga. The introduction to yoga.” While reading this book, I got to know some sources from which those practising yoga can derive their knowledge. I need plenty of time in order to use all this information in practice.

Right now I am concentrating on avoiding verbal, thought or physical violence. I started by working on my body, mind as well as the soul. I pay attention to food and I avoid all addictive substances (although my only sin is chocolate). I am cautious when it comes to meeting new people and I pay attention to the words spoken – whether they are true and whether they are supportive to others and me. I believe that is better to stay silent than to say something without knowing the background. I will be coming to this book since it is really precious to me.

When reading this book, I got the information that the yoga classes would take place in the forest where I was walking every single day. I perceived it as a sign that I was ready to take part in such sessions because I believe that when I am ready for something, the world shows it to me. And then, the teacher, who guides me while finding myself, appears.

I will never forget those emotions which I experienced while walking through the forest with a big wide smile on my face I was anticipating the first lesson. I was curious about all the details. I do know that I could have watched some videos on YouTube to get the gist, but I did not do that on purpose so that I did not discourage myself and I wanted to let myself be spontaneous. My intuition did not let me down – while walking through my dear forest, I did have some doubts regarding my skills, but I did believe that I would manage, no matter how I would.

One statement said by my teacher has been stuck in my mind and it became my main motivation: „There is no ego in yoga.” It referred to the idea that we do all the movements that are acceptable to our bodies. After the first 20 minutes, I was grateful for the fact that one year ago I had a personal trainer, who was preparing me for these yoga sessions – probably she did not even intended on training me. My everyday walks through the forest were not completely senseless – I was truly proud of myself. I was afraid of misunderstanding some teacher’s instructions formulated in English as it was another area of my life that was supposed to be improved by me. After all, I did not comprehend too much out of it.

Therefore, I concentrated on observing the way the teacher did it. It reminded me about the online sessions with my personal trainer. I started with one yoga class per week during the eight-week block of time. However, I felt that I needed more than that – I created an ambitious plan and decided to buy a yoga mat I thought that I would attend one lesson per week with my teacher and I would practice twice a week on my own. Unfortunately, it did not work out and the subject of my independence was over. It is funny that I have to refer to magic, but yes, some magic was present there as I did not fulfil my plan in the way I wanted to, or actually, I did.

My yoga teacher added to her offer a monthly membership, which included…can you guess? You will not figure it out, or maybe? Exactly, two or three yoga classes a week as if it had been ordered by me. It was amazing and it really happened. When the autumn started and the yoga sessions started taking place not directly next to my forest. One lesson is organized in the old stable – there is some amazing atmosphere there and the floor heating.  The remaining sessions take place in a room located in a small gym.

Now I do not need the forest in order to be convinced to do yoga. I can follow yoga everywhere, almost everywhere. This state of mind, this peace and energy present in the air. I had never found it anywhere else but only during the yoga classes. There is no place for judgement there – I do experience a lot of energetic support and my heart is filled with pure happiness.

My teacher is an amazing woman – I would never change her for any other yoga teacher. It is an obvious thing for me that when I am ready for something, the right teacher appears to lead me through the journey to my inner self. Niamh is such a guide to me and I am extremely grateful to her for all the processes that have been taking place in me during the yoga classes.

This story is an example showing how to build some supportive habits. I know that stepping out of one’s comfort zone is quite hard for me as I know my limits. I am getting to know my boundaries and I am finding different ways in which I can stick to my promises. I am in the middle of the process of exploring myself and testing everything that makes me happy.

As a result of this journey, I have changed the way I perceive myself and other people. I speak to myself with pride and amazement; moreover, I’m caring and understanding towards myself and other people who consciously or unconsciously have some influence on my life.

When writing this article, I was really trying to concentrate on the subject of yoga and meditation in order to share with you some events that have taken place during the last three years of my life. Those events led to the place in which I am right now and I am writing it so that you can see that believing in yourself is the most important thing.

Margaret K-Jerczynska


PS: I will be writing more details on a similar subject in the upcoming articles.

My dream is to make other people brave enough to experience such a journey in their life.

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My name is Margaret, I am a Transformational Life Coach 🦋/ Transpersonal Coach /Self-Leadership Coach 🔑/ Motivational Speaker and Writer🌍/Reiki Energy Healer💚. I believe that my thoughts create my reality. My life story is the proof of this. I would not like to be anyone else but myself. Just as I am.

„I give you a rod, but you are the one fishing.”